How does sexual rejection affect the relationship between the two partners?

 How does sexual rejection affect the relationship between the two partners?

Imagine that you are relaxing in your home after a long day and ready to have sex with your partner, and you kiss him and invite him to bed, but you are shocked by his refusal to have sex with you and his withdrawal on the pretext that he is tired of the day’s work and is not ready for sex. Most women feel upset if they are rejected in the case of the previous scenario, and the irony is that they do not feel that it bother men if the scenario is the opposite. 

There are two hypotheses that explain this, the first is the toxic masculinity that claims that men seek sex only to fulfill their physical needs without taking into account their emotions and feelings, and rejection cannot hurt their feelings so much that they have lost only a physical act.

However, the second assumption, related to the theory of the sexual text, indicates that in sexual relations between partners, men must initiate sexual activity and women must be obedient. If it is men who initiate sexual activity more often, this means that they will also face more rejection.

All this leads us to the conclusion that rejection cannot hurt men much because they have to expect it. But just because the sexual rejection scenario mentioned above is more likely to happen with a man, that doesn't mean that it is easy to deal with. In fact, it may be the opposite, since rejection often can harm men and even reduce their interest in sex.

In an interview with men between the ages of 30 and 65 who spent long-term relationships with their female partners, (an average of 14 years) they were asked about their sexual experiences and were there times when they felt less or less sexual desire or perhaps no sexual desire at all? Almost all men said their sexual desire (and sometimes their self-esteem) decreased when their attempt to have sex was rejected.

How does sexual rejection affect the relationship between the two partners - withdrawal from sex under the pretext of fatigue - sexual relations problems between the two partners

These men do not describe rejection as the partner's unwillingness to have sex with them at the time, but more broadly, men feel that their partner has rejected them. In fact, when a partner has a headache, an illness, or is in a bad mood for a good reason, rejection is not a problem for these men.

The idea that they will feel sexual interest and desire at the same time with their partner every time over the years is a palatable idea, but in reality it is far-fetched, as various attempts will be met with the answer of one of the partners "not tonight."

Men also talked about the regular rejection and how it tires them over time and makes them question themselves and their current relationship. This ultimately had a negative effect on their self-esteem.

They also noted that repeated rejection actually decreased their interest in sex in general. Sexual rejection is difficult and, as a result, men often begin to act in ways that help them avoid rejection, such as stepping back from initiating sex, by showing less interest in it or by decreasing the frequency and quality of their sexual caresses.

A recent study by Amy Moyes and colleagues supports the previous finding: researchers discovered how well 128 pairs of binary signals understood their partner's interest in sex.

 Moyes found that in the first two studies, there was a similar pattern of men unaware of their partners' interest in sex. So I conducted a third study to explore why this is happening with a focus on the possible cause of rejection. This study included 101 heterosexual couples, ages 18 to 53, who had relationships from six months to 22 years. For three weeks, the couples were asked to keep a diary of their sexual activity.

Statements that the researchers asked participants to answer include “I did not want my partner to reject me” on a scale ranging from one score 1 (meaning “not important at all”) to seven marks 7 (meaning “very important”).

The researchers found that on days when men are especially careful to avoid rejection, they were more aware of their partner's interest in sex. In other words, when men reported disliking the possibility of being rejected (for whatever reason, such as feeling insecure, having a bad day, or getting bad reactions at work), they missed the sexual cues from their partner, did not initiate sex, and were less likely to think about it.

It is understandable that a person is not in the mood for sex if he feels his partner is just looking for a bodily release without feelings. But the change is possible when men are able to express their desire for sex in order to connect with and feel close to their partner, not to satisfy their cravings.

When both partners talk about the pain of rejection and causing it deeper than it seems, the percentage of rejection decreases, the topic becomes more aware, and the rejection is more pleasant. And you'd really be surprised at what this transformation can do in a relationship.